It's legit hard to say what's worse: Being dumped, or being the one who has to break things off.
Once you've had that sinking feeling of knowing you've gotta call it quits, there's usually a bit of a journey to go on before you can pull the plug properly.
No doubt this is one of life's suckiest situations. That's why it can be tempting to pull an ostrich and stick your head in the sand to act like nothing's happening.
It's a pretty common reaction, tbh - you just have to open TikTok to see a whole trend of people admitting they emotionally checked out of their relationship aaaages before it was actually over.
Some of these clips might give off empowered and unbothered energy, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. Here's some reasons why 'checking out' could actually do you both more damage in the long run:
Pretending things are fine when they really aren't can have a super negative impact on your mental health. Plus, you're not being honest with your partner, and even if they've done you wrong, the guilt of basically lying to them is not something you need in your life.
While some emotional distance is a normal part of the process of deciding to end a relationship, for sure, but too much can turn into emotional avoidance. This might feel easier to you in the moment, but it sure as heck isn't gonna help you have an amicable break up.
You could be stringing your partner along while you're checked out, and that's hella disrespectful. Not to mention, staying in a relationship that's no longer good for you is probably damaging your sense of self-worth.
If you're avoiding going through a breakup and carrying on as normal, you might find yourself feeling isolated. If your mates, whānau and partner have no idea you're struggling, you're going to be massively missing out on the support network you need to get through this.
So if you feel yourself pulling away, ask yourself why and try to stay grounded. Maybe you start by chatting to a friend, or seeing a pro for some help if you wanna keep things more private.
Deep down we all know that we can't run away from our problems in life, so see if you can use all your mana to face them straight on and work towards a brighter tomorrow.
